Forgiveness Institute - How to Forgive

You were my counselor . I never knew you.
You neglected me. And now I need to forgive you.

Testimonials (hear from others)

FORGIVENESS: "As a boy, Robert Enright never really needed to forgive. As a man, he decided he needed to understand it. In the years that followed, Enright, a professor of educational psychology, studied the word forgiveness, sifting through... read more

Events (read and learn about upcoming events)

UPCOMING EVENTS:
►Belfast Talk to Focus on Dealing with Suicide read more
►Forgiveness Education Workshops for Teachers in Ireland read more

Publications (Dr. Enright’s new publication)

In The Forgiving Life, Dr. Robert Enright invites readers to learn the benefits of forgiveness and to embark on a path of forgiveness, leaving behind a legacy of love. read more

Recent news: MAY 10, 2012 - ABCNews.com. The Episcopal Diocese of Maryland has made a generous offer of forgiveness toward and the payment of the funeral service for a homeless man who killed himself after fatally shooting a priest and the church secretary last week. The community based its gesture of forgiveness and generosity on what the Amish did when a man attacked and killed school girls in Pennsylvania in 2006. Full report here
Recent news: MAY 9, 2012 - The Missoulian, Missoula, MT - On the 20th anniversary of her family’s deadly standoff with federal law enforcement officers at Ruby Ridge, Idaho, Sara Weaver is an advocate of forgiveness. “Three years ago I Googled my name," Weaver said, "and I thought – that’s not the legacy I want to leave for my son.” Weaver says she has made a distinction between forgiving someone and condoning what that person did. Forgiving simply meant she gave up holding onto the negative feelings and emotions of the incidents. “It’s not like saying, ‘It’s sunny today, there’s a rainbow – I feel like forgiving someone today,’ ” she said. “It’s that in my heart and life, I’ve got freedom from hanging onto toxic grudges.” Read the full story.
Recent news: MAY 8, 2012 - AFP news. A horrendous bomb blast in a nightclub in Bali, Indonesia in 2002 killed over 200 people. The supposed mastermind behind the bomb attack, who could face the death penalty, asked, during his trial, forgiveness of victims' families and of the Indonesian government. He said he played a small part in the plan and execution of the bomb. The forgiveness request calls into question the political use of forgiveness for gain. Full report here
Recent news: MAY 5, 2012 - MSNBC.com. Melissa Oxley was asleep next to her husband when he was shot and killed. Melissa was the first suspect in the killing, but was subsequently released. The boyfriend of Mr. Oxley's ex-wife has been convicted of the crime and is currently serving a prison term. Mr. Oxley's daughter, Alyssa, now being raised by Melissa, spoke with the murderer following his conviction. She told him that she forgives him for killing her father. This theme of forgiveness was initiated by Melissa in 2008, as she began teaching Alyssa, then 5-years-old, the importance of forgiveness so they do not have deep anger as a part of their lives. Full story here.
Recent news: MAY 5, 2012 - Dr. Robert Enright, founder of the International Forgiveness Institute, was honored recently with the 2012 Cecil Findley Distinguished Service Award. The award is in honor of Cecil Findley, a retired United Methodist pastor and Campus Minister Emeritus at The Crossing (formerly Madison Campus Ministry) in Madison, WI, who passed away in 2010. Rev. Findley’s ministry was marked by his passion for social justice, peacemaking, interfaith dialogues, and the prophetic teachings of Jesus. The award was presented by Rev. Douglas Pierce, Executive Director of The Crossing, on April 13 at the ministry’s Spring Gala. Read the full presentation speech here. Helen Findley, Dr. Enright, Rev. DougPierce
Recent news: APRIL 30, 2012 - National Post (Canada). Lina Dhingra, the daughter of a man who stabbed his wife to death while he was in a psychotic state, has forgiven him. As she visited him in prison and looked at him through the bullet proof glass, she could see his mental illness. “I said to him, ‘I love you, Poppa. I forgive you.’ There was no question,” she recalled. His son is still estranged from the father. Full story here.
Recent news: APRIL 26, 2012 - Cowichan News Leader newspaper (British Columbia, Canada). Two mothers, Mary Jim and Bev Stone, each lost a daughter to one killer. A man was recently taken into custody in connection with the murders. Jim said this, "....being hateful, isn’t going to get me anywhere.” Stone had this to say, "[My daughter] always had a smile on her face and I’m sure she’d want me to, over time, somewhere down the road, forgive this man for what he’s (allegedly) done to her.” Full story here.
Recent news: APRIL 26, 2012 - MSNBC (Pittsburgh, PA). At the sentencing of a 24-year-old man, convicted of driving while intoxicated, Nicole Cleland, who lost her 7-year-old daughter and unborn child in the head-on crash, expressed forgiveness for him. " ...To heal and be the best mother and wife I could be, I had to forgive you." Full story here.
Recent news: APRIL 25, 2012 - Globe Gazette newspaper (Mason City, Iowa). “This is what my brother would have done and you can’t hate forever,” Cindy Wisher said in court after the sentencing of the man who, driving a vehicle while he was intoxicated, killed her brother. She said that she is thankful that 20 months went by between the incident and the court sentencing. It gave her and her family time to adjust and to come to the forgiveness decision.Full story here
Recent news: APRIL 22, 2012 - Las Vegas Review-Journal. Steven Kalas, a counselor in Nevada, has an interesting reflection on forgiveness. His main point is that those who transgress sometimes tend to hide this fact from themselves. Pride is the central barrier to admitting that one has done wrong. Yet, eventually, this realization can come pouring out and how should the recipient of this humble confession react to it?